More to the point: It's straight-up counterintuitive for het men to have het women assume we're uninterested in them. And so they're undesirable traits for a straight man to want to have. And that's not to say that these qualities are bad, but they all tend to be deterrents for most women looking for a relationship with a straight man. It's the stereotype of what people are really poking at when they assume you're gay - femininity, flamboyance, being camp, having a girly voice. So it's not that women might assume that I'm gay that bothers me. But they might wonder if he is gay after seeing him on Broadway (that's just how stereotypes seem to work). In other words: Nobody ever asks if Hugh Jackman is gay because of his portrayal as Wolverine in X-Men. There are all kinds of gay men.īut typically, when society asks if someone is gay, they are alluding to the very specific flamboyant stereotype. There are manly gay men, and there are overly camp and flamboyant gay men.
The most effeminate thing I've ever done in my entire life was get scouted to be a model (and I don't tell anyone that).īut most of us are smart enough to know that anyone can be gay and so therefore being gay doesn't have a particular 'look' to it.
I'm 6'2, I have a deep voice, and my personality I would define as stoic.